Without sounding too emo, I am starting to wonder, why do I write this blog? Over the past four months, my traffic has not increased at all. I rarely get comments on posts, even from family and friends. It basically just feels like I put my heart and soul into writing on topics which interest me, yet, no one else cares. So, why do I write then? The problem is, I’m not even sure.
I used to think it was just for me, but I really am beginning to believe that is not true. I used to not care if anyone read it, or if I had any traffic, but recently, I do care. Coming up with topics to write about several days a week is getting harder and harder (as you might have noticed from the lack of new posts), and it is beginning to feel like a thankless chore, rather than a creative outlet.
Lately I feel I censor myself far too much for this to be a blog about me, or for me. Ever since some of my family found the blog, and decided it would be a good idea to essentially make fun of me, I have felt quite inhibited by what I can and cannot write. The same goes for work. God forbid I wrote anything about work. Lately, my biggest motivations for topics to write on have been family, friend, or other personal life related issues. Problem is, I feel I cannot write about those topics for several reasons:
- Who cares to read about my personal issues? I know I don’t care to read about yours.
- Too many of my family and friends read this blog for me to be willing to put myself out there like that, and talk about those issues publicly, since I am sure there would be consequences.
- I really didn’t want this blog to be another personal emo-journal. I wanted it to be an interesting blog to read for people who were interested in philosophical or otherwise thought provoking topics.
The problem is, people aren’t interested in reading about the topics I write about. Most of what I write about are highly debatable philosophical questions, which would do best with a nice number of comments to go along with them. But, I get none. The blog posts I get the most hits on are either game or tech related. My #1 post from a hits/comments standpoint is my post about why Windows Vista Doesn’t Suck, and honestly, it is one of the posts I personally like the least.
The posts I enjoy to write about are, the ones you see on her more often then not. Philosophy and Psychology related topics, but, they generate almost no traffic, and I get the feeling I spend so much time writing and perfecting my posts/site, just so no one can even ever read it.
My motivation is dying.
I know I cannot expect a blog such as this to be an overnight success, but I thought that after 4 months I would see more than a whopping TWENTY DAILY VISITORS!
Alas, I am beginning to feel the days of this blog are numbered. I cannot seem to find a comfort zone of topics I, enjoy writing about, people enjoy reading about, and that I can generate a steady stream of topics week after week, to write about.
I do not want this to become a personal journal, nor do I want it to become just another tech or gaming related blog, the internets would be mad at me if I did that.
So please, if you are actually reading this, leave me a comment with your thoughts or suggestions so that I can get an idea of what the few readers I do have, enjoy reading about! I want to find my motivation again!