Why do I write?

Without sounding too emo, I am starting to wonder, why do I write this blog?  Over the past four months, my traffic has not increased at all.  I rarely get comments on posts, even from family and friends.  It basically just feels like I put my heart and soul into writing on topics which interest me, yet, no one else cares.  So, why do I write then?  The problem is, I’m not even sure.

 

I swear, I'm not emo!
I swear, I'm not emo!

 

I used to think it was just for me, but I really am beginning to believe that is not true.  I used to not care if anyone read it, or if I had any traffic, but recently, I do care.  Coming up with topics to write about several days a week is getting harder and harder (as you might have noticed from the lack of new posts), and it is beginning to feel like a thankless chore, rather than a creative outlet.  

Lately I feel I censor myself far too much for this to be a blog about me, or for me.  Ever since some of my family found the blog, and decided it would be a good idea to essentially make fun of me, I have felt quite inhibited by what I can and cannot write.  The same goes for work.  God forbid I wrote anything about work.  Lately, my biggest motivations for topics to write on have been family, friend, or other personal life related issues.  Problem is, I feel I cannot write about those topics for several reasons:

  1. Who cares to read about my personal issues?  I know I don’t care to read about yours.
  2. Too many of my family and friends read this blog for me to be willing to put myself out there like that, and talk about those issues publicly, since I am sure there would be consequences.
  3. I really didn’t want this blog to be another personal emo-journal.  I wanted it to be an interesting blog to read for people who were interested in philosophical or otherwise thought provoking topics.

The problem is, people aren’t interested in reading about the topics I write about.  Most of what I write about are highly debatable philosophical questions, which would do best with a nice number of comments to go along with them.  But, I get none.  The blog posts I get the most hits on are either game or tech related.  My #1 post from a hits/comments standpoint is my post about why Windows Vista Doesn’t Suck, and honestly, it is one of the posts I personally like the least.

The posts I enjoy to write about are, the ones you see on her more often then not.  Philosophy and Psychology related topics, but, they generate almost no traffic, and I get the feeling I spend so much time writing and perfecting my posts/site, just so no one can even ever read it.

My motivation is dying.

I know I cannot expect a blog such as this to be an overnight success, but I thought that after 4 months I would see more than a whopping TWENTY DAILY VISITORS!

Alas, I am beginning to feel the days of this blog are numbered.  I cannot seem to find a comfort zone of topics I, enjoy writing about, people enjoy reading about, and that I can generate a steady stream of topics week after week, to write about.

I do not want this to become a personal journal, nor do I want it to become just another tech or gaming related blog, the internets would be mad at me if I did that.

So please, if you are actually reading this, leave me a comment with your thoughts or suggestions so that I can get an idea of what the few readers I do have, enjoy reading about!  I want to find my motivation again!

10 thoughts on “Why do I write?

  1. Bryan, as we talked on aim, I can understand where you are coming from.

    As I said, you have to figure out whether you’re writing for yourself or potential readers. Maybe a mix of both. I admit a philosophical blog is harder to advertise than a tech-centric ones. Also there’s not as much community support either.

    People, at least I, read blogs for two reasons Two reasons only. That is either to be entertained, or be informed. I enjoy reading yours because your content is original and genuine.

    I’ve learned not to look at stats on hits. I mostly read google-analytic stats to see how visitors use my site, and other browser/resolution related stats.

    Keep it up!

  2. Hey Bry..
    Well I know what I say prolly don’t matter since I’m just the girlfriend, but I know as soon as I see a notification about you posting a new blog I always go to the page on my iphone and read it… I enjoy reading your thoughts and the way you think of things…IDK, but I love reading them! All of them!!! Keep up the work hun, you worked hard for it, all good things come to those who wait! Have some patience and write for yourself, being yourself will make people love you and your thoughts just like I do..

  3. Well, I definitely fall into the realm of people who check as soon as I get a tweet saying it’s been updated; and occasionally otherwise. I’m pretty sure I haven’t busted your balls about anything you’ve written, because I think it’s a jerk move to do so. I’m not a huge commenter, because I don’t always have anything useful to contribute, or someone has come before me and said something really awful and I’m just not following. BUT I’d hate to see you sideline another project because of the same interference that seems to keep popping up, you know? You’ve got too much creative ability swirling around in there to let it go to waste.

  4. Something awful huh…

    I think your problem is you feel the need to put far too much thought into each post. Make them short and simple and it will not seem like as much of a chore. That’s why I prefer commenting on blogs to having my own.

    Also, if you want more people to comment on your posts, you might try responding to their comments more often.

  5. Thanks for the feedback guys, I genuinely appreciate it.

    I thought of writing short posts, and it is a lot easier, but for some reason it doesn’t feel like the quality is there when I do that.

    As for responding to comments, I feel I generally do, unless it is a comment made on a post which is 3 posts old, then I usually do not.

  6. Hi Bryan,

    I really enjoy reading what you write, I don’t check in that often, as I’m not a blog reader, but some of your posts really get me thinking. I suppose it takes me a while to reflect on your philosophical questions and by the time I have a response for you, I’m doing another task.

  7. I stop in every couple of weeks and catch up on your blog posts, as I’m doing now. But the only blogs I tend to read are humorous ones (usually linked from digg). And in terms of humor you’ve hit the nail on the head a few times but that’s not the focus. It’s interesting to see how your posts are, more often then not, something we’ve discussed in length in real life. And I think many of the topics are very thought provoking. However, I don’t think you can just start a blog and expect an exponential growth curve until you have thousands of daily visitors. Writing is a skill and its as hard as any other. And just as singers need to “find their voice” you need to find yours. And you need to continue working on your craft.

  8. Yes, you are right. Thing is, I do not expect an exponential growth curve, more of a linear one.

    I wouldn’t care if I had just 1 new visitor per day, or per month, as long as I felt like what I wrote was being read by at least a couple of people, and there was visible growth (motivation) to keep it going.

    Thing is, the line is flat, if not going downward.

    Seeing those traffic charts makes it VERY hard to want to sit down and write.

    Thousands of visitors? Na, I’m not that diluded.

  9. Hey, keep it up… I try to checkout your blog when I have the spare time and I think that you touch on very interesting philosophical concepts. I was reading “Is Human Happiness the Driving force…” and if you haven’t already, you should read this book called “Nonzero” by Robert Wright. It highlights some of the questions you raise in that blog and I think you might really enjoy the read.

  10. Bryan I’ve just discovered your blog today by following a link in from another website. I love what I’ve found here. I really enjoy your writing and your style of writing. I nearly cried when I read your post to Cassandra (you lucky bugger you). You write in a way that speaks to my state-of-mind and way of thinking.

    Please don’t stop. Don’t give up on your weblog. Ignore your page view counts and ignore the small number of comments. Remember that lots of people will read your work via RSS – you probably have a much larger readership than you know.

    I have been writing to my own weblog for years (since about 2004 if I remember correctly). I’ve never had more than a handful of readers and my family can’t even be bothered to read what I write (so count yourself lucky). I used to worry about the numbers too and I used to hate the fact that no-one commented on my work.

    But now I think, “fuck it, fuck you all,” I write for me. I write because I enjoy having a weblog. I enjoy being able to tweak my design. I enjoy being to experiment with little PHP hacks on my WordPress install. I enjoy writing. I couldn’t give a damn if no-one reads me. I maintain my weblog for fun. Nuts to everyone else.

    Don’t give up mate. The Web’s a much better place with you in it.

    Kindest regards,
    Jonathan.

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